Retrospective
Hopeful Wanderer, circa 2021
I like to hang out in the spiritual clouds. I have always had a penchant for daydreaming. It’s my way of being free.
Not all who wander are lost though.
Sometimes people wander because they seek distraction. Other times it’s to pursue adventure and have fun off-road. And once in a while, people wander because they sense there is more to life, more to love, and more to experience. Out there. Somewhere.
Mostly I wander in search of inspiration. As a bright, wide-eyed dreamer and an insightful and abstract thinker, wandering is an activity that speaks to my heart and soul. It can feel like a pull on the heartstrings to explore the world around me. Like driving with the windows down and the breeze blowing through my hair, I can find wisdom in the wind and reconnect with different elements of myself through new lived experiences.
Whether real or perceived, there have been times in my life when I felt like the universe was a puppeteer tugging at my soul-strings to encourage greater range of motion, movement, and self-expression. Usually, that has coincided with periods of time when I was stationary or not living true to my purpose. When the soul calls out though, I have discovered it’s best to answer.
I read a quote recently that said, "Life hits different when you love yourself unapologetically."
I would add to this that everything hits different when you love yourself unapologetically. When we acknowledge the natural elements of our personalities and desires, we gift ourselves the freedom to live fully, widely, truly and deeply. We also, in some circumstances, can then gift others with an enhanced awareness of who we are and what makes us tick, which can dispel misconceptions and prevent misunderstandings.
I used to think that I was born to run. But just because I love the song from Bruce Springsteen doesn’t mean that when I wander I’m running away from a life of responsibility. Inspiration can be found in places that are both bright and beautiful, and it can also be found in dark places where there is only a small flicker of light. I have burned some of my dreams and visions, but the best of them have stayed with me and are alive in the coals waiting for the right breeze to blow into them and set them ablaze.
I used to believe the dreams I had while I slept were metaphors for emotions that needed a compassionate embrace. Even in my sweetest dreams, there were shadows. Now, I see my dreams through a different lens. They are all my hopes, my fears, my joys, and my loves - a story unfolding that I need to interpret and shape as I go.
There are several dreams that were so vivid they are etched into the fabric of my being now and have become signposts for my life’s work, my passions, and my goals. In the first dream I was alone, in the second I was hand in hand with someone, and in the third, I was holding someone I love and care for.
Dreams stretch the mind and give glimpses into thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Time will tell how my dreams will unfold. Maybe they are memories of past lives or visions of lives to come. Maybe I’m just a romantic that looks at life and art through rose-colored glasses.
In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Dumbledore tells Harry not to linger on his dreams and visions but to cast them away. When life bites, I’d linger on my dreams for long enough to make them a reality.
If I’m not chasing my dreams, I’m not living. I am my only permanent address. As a hopeful wanderer, home is wherever I’m with me.
And I am inspired by her.
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